11.14
|
IMDB rating: 4.20 Plot: Unexpectedly pregnant with no means to raise a child, Dina and Ronnie decide to sell their unborn baby over the Internet. Their plan begins to unravel when the couple they’ve chosen, Paul and Maria, turn out to have an agenda of their own. |
Available versions:
DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
Actors: Donovan Jeffrey,Payne Waylon,Riehle Richard,Powell Arnell,Thriller,
I think my boyfriend has a Sexual Disorder… how do I even begin this conversation with him?
We have been together for 4 years. We’re both 21. We’ve lived together for a year. We did the long-distance thing for 2 years, and during that time we had sex more often, only seeing each other once a week, than we do now that we live together.
I honestly can’t even say how many times we have had sex… I’d say only about 20 times in the past year. It has been 26 days since the last time. We usually only have sex once a month. He never seems interested. He never inititates. He’ll do things that seem like avoidance of physical contact, such as if we’re making out, he’ll stop kissing and just want to hold me, as though he is trying to stop it before it starts. He loses his erection in the middle of intercourse every single time, but he is able to get off by oral sex or a hand job. He masturbates and I assume that goes well.
I have tried to talk to him, to tell him that I am unhappy with our situation, that I feel unwanted and that I miss having that connection with him. I have offered to go to a doctor with him. I have asked if there’s anything I can do differently, or if he has any fantasies that might help, that I am willing to try anything he wants. He says there is nothing wrong and he doesn’t have any fantasies. I guess his choice is to ignore the problem and never have sex again. I don’t know what to do. I am at the end of my ropes. I have told him a hundred times that I don’t care at all if he loses his erection… I just want to have sex with him. I just want to TRY. I do understand that it’s a failure in his eyes that he can’t keep it up, and I have tried to be understanding and compassionate, always comforting him and trying to be supportive. But I am getting sick of making all these sacrifices for myself when he isn’t showing any signs of compromise or that he wants to fix anything. He seems completely oblivious to the fact that this is effecting me too. He doesn’t understand how I can feel self-conscious or how I can be hurt by our lack of sex. He acts like it’s only his problem that he has to deal with all by himself; he won’t discuss it with me at all, no matter how I try to approach the subject. He gets angry or defensive or completely changes the subject.
I have read about such disorders as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Sexual Aversion Disorder, and of course, Male Erectile Disorder. All seem to fit my boyfriend. I also talked with my sex ed professor, and he said it’s possible that my vagina isn’t stimulating enough, because my boyfriend can’t control the pressure like he can while maturbating or receiving oral sex.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know if I should even bother to say anything, or how I should go about this. Because there is obviously something wrong that my 21 year old boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me. He has told me things in the past such as I only care about sex and I think sex is the most important thing in a relationship… obviously that’s not true or I wouldn’t be with him still; I assume in hindsight his mean comments are another form of avoidance. Anyway.. sorry this is so long. I just thought I might get better help if you know all the details. Thank you…
Honey, the problem is his, not yours, so stop feeling guilty.
There’s much to cover here, I’ll try to hit the high points.
All guys have fantasies, that’s how we masturbate. Maybe his fantasy is so sick that he can’t tell you. I won’t try to list the really horrible ones, but there are plenty. That would explain his defensiveness, too.
He may be gay, and hasn’t admitted it to himself. Many gay men have this problem when they are young.
Oral and hand may be better because he can focus on his own mental pleasure and not be distracted by you. It sound backward, but it can happen. That’s why masturbation works, no distractions.
Personally, I think this guy is messed up in the head. Maybe not permanently or really terribly, but definitely off-kilter. If he doesn’t want to admit to a problem, you can’t make him change. You’re still young, it might be time to move on.
Lovemaking really is an important part of a good, long-term relationship. If you’re not communicating openly about it, chances are there are communications issues in other parts of the relationship. If he can’t talk about this, what about money or child-raising? If you’re ready for a long-term commitment, and he’s not, it’s time to move on. It’s not about sex, it about what sex indicates about the entire relationship.
jljocque | Nov 09, 2009
Having ED will make him want to avoid it, cause its embarrasing. Get him to see a Urologist, and you go to. Thats the place to start.
Gregory M | Nov 09, 2009
way to long for me to read
Gf | Nov 09, 2009
It’s not a disorder at all. Happens all the time. My wife and I used to bang constantly when we were dating. As soon as we moved in together, all that stopped. We go at it about once a month now and it’s been that way for years. I’m not saying everyone is like us, but what you are experiencing is very common. It just doesn’t have the same appeal once you get used to it. Sorry.
Edward Bongshanks | Nov 09, 2009
im sure he’d want to do you if u were a boy
atlantahotlips | Nov 09, 2009
I am honestly in the same situation. I’m 22 and my boyfriend is 24. We have been together for 6 years.
We try using other forms of a sexual relationship when he has these issues. We use toys, manual stimulation, and if he loses it in the middle of intercourse he will help me. We keep that connection between us.
If he isn’t willing to try these things, the problem might be deeper in which case I definitely recommend talking to someone. If that doesn’t work, it might not be the correct relationship for you or him.
Good Luck…
mexitalican | Nov 09, 2009
He is trying hard to figure out how to tell you he is gay w/o it causing you any pain. You no oral sex you can think it is someone else regular sex kinda hard imagine some guy. You might want to get get out of the situation and get some counseling because it is not your fault. He is stuck because he is scared to come out. sorry
chelleb | Nov 09, 2009
Have you ever tried to do Kegal Exercises? Maybe you should do that it will help tighten your insides so your BF can feel the pressure like your sex ed professor was talking about.
Melissa | Nov 09, 2009
That was some story:girl
I feel for you and the fact that he is not willing to see that there is a problem.
And you have shown your patience through out all of this.
And I can only say that I admire your patience.
But I cannot offer you any advice that will be help full because he won’t be helped.And to tell him to seek counseling will be thrown out of the window as soon as you mention this as well.
Really have no clue what to say to make the situation for you two any better.
Sorry:Colors
Colors | Nov 09, 2009
Ken Guthrie
No Comment.
Add Your Comment