Posts Tagged Sci-Fi

Escape to Witch Mountain

Escape to Witch Mountain
Escape to Witch Mountain (1975)

IMDB rating: 6.10

Plot: Tia (Kim Richards) and Tony (Ike Eisenmann) are two orphaned youngsters with extraordinary powers. Lucas Deranian (Donald Pleasence) poses as their uncle in order to get the kids into the clutches of Deranian’s megalomaniacal boss, evil millionaire Aristotle Bolt (Ray Milland), who wants to exploit them. Jason (Eddie Albert), a cynical widower, helps Tia and Tony “escape to witch mountain,” while at the same time Tia and Tony help Jason escape the pain of the loss of his wife.

download Escape to Witch Mountain

Directors: Hough John

Actors: Albert Eddie,Milland Ray,Pleasence Donald,Eisenmann Ike,Barnes Walter,Pyle Denver,Ryder Alfred,Montaigne Lawrence,Wilson Terry,Chandler George,Downs Dermott,Sanders Shepherd,Brodie Don,Fantasy,Family,Adventure,Sci-Fi,

looking for a FREE escape to witch mountain 1995 torrent?
ive looked everywhere. the only place ive found it was on sites i had to pay to have membership. i know i can watch it on youtube but i want a torrent. help please.


If you can watch it anytime you want to on Youtube, why would you need a copy of it?

Remember, some torrent files don’t have everything needed to watch the movie, so be careful.

| Aug 10, 2009

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King Kong

King Kong
King Kong (1976)

IMDB rating: 5.60

Plot: The owner of the oil company Petrox Corporation, Fred Wilson, invests all his possessions searching oil in an unexplored island. The vessel leaves Surubaya, in Indonesia, with the stowaway Jack Prescott, who wants to protect an ape called Kong. While traveling, they find the castaway Dwan in the middle of nowhere in a rescue boat in the ocean and bring her on board. The group finds that the island is inhabited and the local natives worship a huge gorilla called Kong. They abduct Dwan to offer her in a sacrifice to Kong. The crew hikes into the jungle trying to rescue Dwan. King Kong falls in love with Dwan and protects her against a huge serpent. When Fred finds that the oil in the island is not ready for exploitation, he decides to capture Kong and bring him to New York for exhibition. In the middle of a show, King Kong escapes, bringing panic to the locals.

find King Kong here and download version for iPod

Directors: Guillermin John

Actors: Bridges Jeff,Grodin Charles,Randolph John,Auberjonois Rene,Harris Julius,O’Halloran Jack,Fimple Dennis,Lauter Ed,Moreno Jorge,Gallo Mario,Lone John,Walberg Garry,Agar John,Long Keny,Adventure,Fantasy,Romance,Sci-Fi,Thriller,

Old School Wrestling: Which of these five (5) were WWF the greatest tag teams in early times?
1. The British Bulldogs
2. Tito Santana and Pedro Morales
3. Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo
4. Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy
5. Jesse the Body Ventura and Randy Macho Man Savage
Who is Amber???


The British Bulldogs were the greatest of those 5.They were one of the best teams that Vince ever hired.

Chicago Knight | Feb 03, 2010


British Bulldogs
Chris L | Feb 03, 2010


I really didn’t know 3-5 were tag partners. I would have to say the Bulldogs were the best. However off of your list was my all time favorite, The Hart Foundation.
Blip | Feb 03, 2010


British Bulldogs
David Shabazz | Feb 03, 2010


In even earlier times before any of those my favorite was Haystacks Calhoun and Tony Garea. They weren’t the best but they were my favorite.
18 gibbs 20 | Feb 03, 2010


Bulldogs, easily, better chemistry, great wrestling and a fantastic pairing of styles…
Superior Quality 85

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Judge Dredd

Judge Dredd
Judge Dredd (1995)

IMDB rating: 4.60

Plot: The Year is 2139. The Planet Earth has changed into a virtually uninhabitable place called the “Cursed Earth”. All of the Earth’s population have crowded into the cities across the planet, now known as “Mega Cities”. The crimes in these “Mega cities” became so violent and so powerful, that the regular justice system was powerless to contain, then it collapsed completely. But, a new Justice System came from the ashes, They were 3 justice systems in 1 (Police, Jury and executioner), they were called “Judges”. In Mega City 1 (formarly, New York), There was a Judge, named Joseph Dredd, who was the toughest and most stringent Judge in history. One day, he was charged with murder. He was tried and sentenced to life in prison because of it. Then, Dredd found out that it was in fact a person who shares his DNA. Former Judge Rico. Now, Dredd has to find out what Rico is planning to do, and to discover about his past.

Directors: Cannon Danny

Actors: Stallone Sylvester,Assante Armand,Schneider Rob,Prochnow Jurgen,von Sydow Max,Getty Balthazar,Roeves Maurice,Dury Ian,Adamson Christopher,Bremner Ewen,Marinker Peter,MacInnes Angus,Action,Crime,Sci-Fi,

Looking for Judge Dredd type Graphic novel?
I read a graphic novel making fun of the jsa, they were all insane and the flash ran around naked, they called him the flasher, they all died when they fell out of the insane asylum,
There was also a batman type character who cut off criminals fingers to try and remove the badness in them and experimented and killed his kid sidekicks.
The main character looks like Judge Dredd and he arrests superheroes,
I think he has swastikas on him,
and I think everyone became zombies.
does anyone know the name of the graphic novel?


I’m sure SOMEONE knows, but that someone is not I.

004 Charmander | Sep 24, 2009


It must be The Boys.
Sohed | Sep 29, 2009

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Darkman

Darkman
Darkman (1990)

IMDB rating: 6.30

Plot: Scientist Peyton Westlake is working on a project to create synthetic skin. Now the skin he has developed has a flaw—it will not remain stable for more than 99 minutes. His girlfriend, Julie, a lawyer is investigating a developer. She leaves some incriminating documents at Peyton’s. One night Peyton was working when the lights in his lab went out, he then discovers that the synthetic skin has remained stable past 99 minutes, he deduces that it’s because of light that the skin doesn’t remain stable. And it is at that moment that a psychotic criminal, Robert Durant appears demanding the documents that Julie left there. They beat up Peyton, and after finding the documents they blow up Peyton’s lab. Peyton was blown away and everybody believes he is dead but in reality, he was found, burned seriously and a new procedure was performed on him that renders him unable to sense pain, he also now has tremendous strength and is now prone to violent outbursts. He is now working on perfecting the synthetic skin and at the same using his technology to make synthetic skin masks of the men who attacked him so that he could strike back at them.

Directors: Raimi Sam

Actors: Neeson Liam,Neeson Liam,Friels Colin,Drake Larry,Mashita Nelson,Ferguson Jessie Lawrence,Robledo Rafael H.,Hicks Dan,Raimi Ted,Bell Dan,Worth Nicholas,Lustig Aaron,Trinidad Arsenio ‘Sonny’,Faraj Said,Action,Crime,Horror,Sci-Fi,Thriller,

What is the worse Comic Book/superhero movie ever?
The Fantastic Four (1989), Captain America (1990), Superman III, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Howard the Duck, Supergirl, Swamp Thing, Return of Swamp Thing, Darkman II: The Return Of Durant, Darkman III: Die Darkman Die, Spawn,

or is there another one not listed?
ADDED: Batman Forever, Batman & Robin (1997), Hulk (2003),


Batman & Robin (1997) with Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I say this because of the huge hype and budget that went along with its release … the biggest disappointment ever in the Comic Super Hero Genre …

| Jun 01, 2009


i can’t say iv’e watched any of those but i think hulk 2003 stunk pretty bad. oh yeah and batman & robin the shumacker(spelt wrong) version.
nobody | Jun 01, 2009


I love Spawn and Batman but have to agree the Hulk sucked. I would say the green lantern never liked him and he seems so useless.
Silent_k | Jun 01, 2009


Dragon Ball [2009] looks a horrible movie to me
T800 | Jun 01, 2009


Dragonball was crap. The new Wolverine movie was pretty damn bad, butchered the comics. Most recent Punisher.

Howard the Duck was the shit, as was Swamp Thing. They were b movies on purpose like Army of Darkness. But if you want to get into it Toxic Avenger was the most horrible superhero film I’ve ever seen, but I enjoy watching it because its a Troma film.
Epoch615 | Jun 02, 2009


Fantastic Four was never meant to be seen, it was only made to retain publishing rights, so it doesn’t count.

Don’t forget Daredevil, Superman Returns and of course the mother of all awful comic book movies Judge Dredd.
tiger_scourges | Jun 02, 2009

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Ghost in the Shell

Ghost in the Shell
Ghost in the Shell (1995)

IMDB rating: 7.80

Plot: The year is 2029. The world has become intensively information oriented and humans are well-connected to the network. Crime has developed into a sophisticated stage by hacking into the interactive network. To prevent this, Section 9 is formed. These are cyborgs with incredible strengths and abilities that can access any network on Earth.

Ghost in the Shell

Directors: Oshii Mamoru

Actors: Otsuka Akio,Oki Tamio,Kayumi Iemasa,Yamadera Koichi,Genda Tessho,Barnes Richard,Blum Steven Jay,Bulen Steve,Cansino Richard,Carlton Tom,Celik George,Chiba Shigeru,Davis Stephen,Epcar Richard,Animation,Action,Sci-Fi,Fantasy,Thriller,

Can I feed my red eared slider some?
I have a 4 month -5 month RES and I’m starting to notice it trying to eat the mystery snail. Its funny. But it can’t because the snail always comes in its shell. I’m wondering… Can I feed my RES live ghost shrimp, feeder guppy, feeder goldfish, minnows , what else?

Thanks ! & :)


http://www.redearslider.com/
Steven | Feb 02, 2010


it probably can’t catch fish bcz its too slow. and the shrip will get expensive. just stay with pellets and leafy greens. and crickets etc…
Akkaiden | Feb 02, 2010


I put some meal-worms in my tank and she went crazy. She ate and ate. I bought some goldfish to see if she would bother them or to see if they would just be nice in the tank. I bought 7 can only find 3. The three that is there fins look nipped on, so I guess you can go for it.Also some water plants might be good. Hope that helps
skrumpchus | Feb 02, 2010


Skip the goldfish. Too fatty. Bait fish are cheaper than feeders. Earthworms and strips of liver that you dust in bone meal are great foods.
oikos | Feb 02, 2010


I used to feed mine frozen shrimps and feeder fish. My RES grew very fast, but now I am being told that it is not good for them, ‘coz too much protiens may make ‘em sick.

So now I am giving them a variety of food including thin apple slices, Dark leafy greens, frozen peas, live earthworms, live crickets that I can lay my hands on, an occasional straw-berry, Egg-Shells(cant find cuttle bone), and occassionally treat them with their earlier regular frozen shrimps. To give them some running exercise I do occassionally introduce some small fiah that I net-out from the local stream.
etchemzee | Feb 02, 2010

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Resident Evil: Extinction

Resident Evil: Extinction
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

IMDB rating: 6.30

Plot: Years after the Raccoon City disaster, Alice (MILLA JOVOVICH) is on her own knowing that she has become a liability and could endanger those around her is struggling to survive and bring down the Umbrella Corporation lead by the sinister Albert Wesker (JASON O’MARA) and head researcher Dr. Issacs (IAN GLEN). Meanwhile traveling through the Nevada Desert and through the ruins of Las Vegas Carlos Olivera, (ODED FEHR) L.J., (MIKE EPPS) and new survivors K-Mart, (SPENCER LOCKE) Claire Redfield,(ALI LARTER) and Nurse Betty (ASHANTI) must fight to survive extinction against hoards of zombies, killer crows and the most terrifying creatures created as a result of the deadly T-Virus that has killed millions.

Directors: Mulcahy Russell

Actors: Fehr Oded,Glen Iain,Epps Mike,Hudson Gary,Abadie William,Ashby Linden,Bentley John Eric,Cramer Rick,Durand Chris,Egan Christopher,Franco Ramon,Action,Horror,Sci-Fi,Thriller,

Who Plays Stevie In resident evil extinction?


he was just an extra who played a zombie. dont even know if hes in the credits

The Tall Man | Jan 13, 2010


No Stevie in Resident Evil – Extinction
doughnutboy20 | Jan 13, 2010

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Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher
Dreamcatcher (2003)

IMDB rating: 5.20

Plot: Four friends sruggling with life meet in the Maine woods for their annual hunting trip. When a stranger stumbles in to their camp disoriented mumbling things about lights in the sky the four friends put in a struggle with a psychotic army colonel and a being that has taken control of one of their minds.

Directors: Kasdan Lawrence

Actors: Jane Thomas,Lee Jason,Sizemore Tom,Freeman Morgan,Lewis Damian,Olyphant Timothy,Wahlberg Donnie,Holekamp Mikey,Thompson Reece,Baessato Giacomo,Palmer Joel,Robb Andrew,Keenleyside Eric,Horror,Thriller,Sci-Fi,Drama,Fantasy,

Whats your favorite Stephen King novel?
Ive read The Shining, Dreamcatcher and Pet Cemetary. Of those my favorite was The Shining. Just wondering which one i should read next!


i like (IT) that is what the book is called

Guinea Pig Lover | Jan 03, 2010


"The Dark Tower" series…definitely!
It’s his Masterpiece! I hear his new book, "Under The Dome" is very good too.
sky_blue_bill | Jan 03, 2010


the stand is a good book. stay away from the tommyknockers
Amy T | Jan 03, 2010


I would say Dreamcatcher, and The Long Walk.
Ashlie | Jan 03, 2010


Dark tower series definitely.
fightclub.love | Jan 03, 2010


I am more of a Scott Sigler Fan
I really liked Lisey’s Story
chorle | Jan 03, 2010


Yay! Stephen King is popular on the boards again!

My goal is to read all the novel he has published, but my most favorite book, difficult to choose, is Insomnia. It was one of the longest books I had read, but one of the first books I read.

I also LOVED Salems Lot. Talk about a good vampire book!
Anna | Jan 03, 2010

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Incredible Melting Man, The

Incredible Melting Man, The
Incredible Melting Man, The (1977)

IMDB rating: 2.80

Plot: Astronaut exposed to cosmic rays outside of Saturn’s rings returns to Earth and begins to melt away. Escaping from the hospital, he wanders around the backwoods looking for human flesh to eat.

Directors: Sachs William

Actors: Rebar Alex,DeBenning Burr,Healey Myron,Alldredge Michael,Wilson Lisle,Rodgers Stuart Edmond,Witney Chris,Max Edwin,Demme Jonathan,Claridge Westbrook,Sci-Fi,Horror,

Atheists,Want REAL proof Hell exists?
In Mark 9:46, Jesus Christ says about hell: "Where THEIR WORM dieth not, and the fire is not quenched."

Jesus said explicitly

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Fifth Element, The

Fifth Element, The
Fifth Element, The (1997)

IMDB rating: 7.20

Plot: Two hundred and fifty years in the future, life as we know it is threatened by the arrival of Evil. Only the fifth element (played by Milla Jovovich) can stop the Evil from extinguishing life, as it tries to do every five thousand years. She is helped by ex-soldier, current-cab-driver, Corben Dallas (played by Bruce Willis), who is, in turn, helped by Prince/Arsenio clone, Ruby Rhod. Unfortunately, Evil is being assisted by Mr. Zorg (Gary Oldman), who seeks to profit from the chaos that Evil will bring, and his alien mercenaries.

Directors: Besson Luc

Actors: Willis Bruce,Holm Ian,Oldman Gary,Tucker Chris,Perry Luke,James Brion,Lister Jr. Tom ‘Tiny’,Evans Lee,Creed-Miles Charlie,Tricky,Neville John,Bluthal John,Kassovitz Mathieu,Fairbank Christopher,Sci-Fi,Action,Adventure,Thriller,

If the Sci Fi Film "The Fifth Element" good or bad?
I’m not a sci fi fan, but I do like the Matrix and K-Pax. Just wondering if this film was good too.


hm.. the thing about the fifth element is that people are a little divided over it. you either love it or you hate it.
the matrix was good because it made you think and was very symbolic, and k-pax made you think as well because it brings up the topic of subjectivity.
the fifth element doesn’t really have a deeper meaning like those two movies.
but you may still find it entertaining. it has kind of a cartoonish/comic book feeling to it.

Persephone | Jan 15, 2010


My girlfriend and I have always liked it. It’s a little cartoon-y but still fun to watch. The characters are a bit out there.
Hack_the_Planet_G | Jan 15, 2010


I really enjoyed it. It was fun and funny and very well done.
Judith | Jan 15, 2010


K-Pax is much better than The Fifth Element i could not stand the film i didn’t like it all . I’m not a huge fan of The Maxtrix but i still think it’s cool but i can’t reccomend The Fifthe Element i am a big sci-fan but it’s not my favorite genre . However some good sci – fi flicks are 2001 : A Space Odyssey , The Fountain , THX 1138 , & Vanilla Sky . However please don’t read too much about vanilla sky because it’s hard to watch it with any spoilers so just read the IMDB syopsis unless you want to feel very angry & dissapointed.
christopher | Jan 15, 2010


It’s a lot of fun for 2 hours. It has a lot of humor and the sci-fi is fine too. It’s nothing like Matrix and K-Pax, it’s just a comedy but with very high production quality.
Dude | Jan 15, 2010


It’s in my top 5 all time greatest sci-fi movies. Corbin Dallas kicks a$$.
imrt70 | Jan 15, 2010


It is one of my favorite movies. It may be a bit cheesy, but it is really entertaining, and very visually appealing with all of the future-fashion and whatnot,
alyssa | Jan 15, 2010


yes its a great movie. enjoyed it…
mystery | Jan 15, 2010


I am sorry but did someone say that they liked The Fountain & Vanilla Sky over The Matrix & The Fifth Element ?!
Are you kidding me The Matrix is an iconic figure in the Sci -Fi along with Star Wars,Alien,Star Trek,Close Encounters of the Third Kind,Planet of the Apes,Tron and The Fifth Element has to be added to this prestigious list even though it is corky and silly but all in all it still a great movie !
Jokeesmurf | Jan 15, 2010


I LOVE this film! I am so happy I got to see it in the theater. The movie is like a beautifully choreographed dance. There is a blue woman singing opera that is inspired! I bought the soundtrack since I loved the music so much. If you watch it, pay attention to the expression on Bruce Willis’ face when he gets bonked on the head. Oscar worthy, haha!

Answer: GOOD!
Otter | Jan 15, 2010


It’s a fun bit of camp, brainless Sci-Fi. You should like it if you’re into action movies.
Deep-Fried Hamster | Jan 15, 2010


It’s one of my favorite movies of all time. It is a little campy, but I absolutely love it.
Corbin Dallas Multi Pass!
vectorassassin | Jan 15, 2010

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Leprechaun 4: In Space

Leprechaun 4: In Space
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)

IMDB rating: 2.90

Plot: It’s the 21st century. A group of U.S. Marines battle in space to destroy a space monster, when they get in the way of the Leprechaun who is in space to marry a princess so he can become ruler of the planet Dominia. They think they have killed the Leprechaun – wrong. The Leprechaun goes on board their space station to find the princess they have taken from him, where he’ll kill to get her back.

Download Leprechaun 4: In Space

Directors: Trenchard-Smith Brian

Actors: Davis Warwick,Jasmer Brent,Colceri Tim,Nunez Jr. Miguel A.,Grossman Gary,Peters Rick,Meed Geoff,Cannizzo Mike,York Ladd,Siner Guy,Quinn James,Comedy,Fantasy,Horror,Sci-Fi,

Hi!Funny or no?
24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator… 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It’s a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I’ve got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You’re one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

People Really Said These Things In Court Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: This myasthenia gravis – does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: How old is your son – the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

The Blonde & The Coke Machine It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out – so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We’re all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I’m still winning!"

Poor Old Man This old man goes to the doctor’s.
"Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long."
"So what’s the problem?"
"I can’t remember where I live."

Blonde in a Car A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?”
”Why sure,” said the manager, ”we have something that works especially well for that.”
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ”No, no! A little to the left,” said the other blonde inside the car.

Daughter’s Prayer A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn’t know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.
Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"

Your Family Is So Poor Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted,

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